I mustache you a question
by thinking in blue
Summary: Zatanna and Robin have a little fun with magic, and mustaches.


Robin and Zatanna sit plopped over the green sofas in the den, occasionally glancing at the wall clock for time, completely bored out of their minds. A rerun of The Flaming C plays loudly on the TV, but neither of them are really paying any attention to it, and they're both too lazy to change the channel to something else.

"Robin, when is Batman giving the mission brief again?" She asks. They'd been waiting for about 20 minutes, but it felt like 20 hours.

"Whenever Artemis and Green Arrow get here," He replies, "which was supposed to be 15 minutes ago."

"Uggh.. _Simetra teg ereh renoos_." They both glance over at the den's entrance expectantly, but become disappointed when nothing happens after a few moments.

Robin shrugs, "Well it was worth a shot."

"Yeah, I didn't really think that would work anyway."

"So, what do we do now?"

"I don't know. Sit here and wait for another 20 minutes."

"But Zatanna." He groans overdramatically, "I am soooo bored. Do something to entertain me."

"I can try I guess, _ekam riah knip_." Her hair turns a shade of bright, bubblegum pink.

"Woah, that's cool."

"Thanks. It's an appearance spell. I've been practicing them lately. They're not very useful, but they're fun to do. Wanna see some more?"

"Sure." He says eagerly.

She stands up, and begins to put on a show, "_ekam sworbeye eno, ekam niks eulb, ekam slian gnol, dna ekam spil kciht_." Her eyebrows thinken until they meet in the middle, her skin changes to a cheerful, sky blue, her fingernails grow until they touch the floor, and her lips thicken, as though they'd been stung by bees.

He claps his hands, "Impressive."

"_Egnahc kcab_." Her body reverts to normal, and she bows, "Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. And next week too, I do live here after all."

"That's amazing. Can you try doing some on me?" He asks.

She hesitates, "I don't know Robin. I've never done them on another person before. If I mess up on me it's no big deal, but if I messed up on you I'd feel terrible."

"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. I trust you." He says sincerely.

She smiles sheepishly, "Well ok. What do you want me to do?"

"How about a mustache?"

"I can do that _evig nibor ehcatsum._"

A thin, black mustache sprouts on Robin's face, taking up most of the space between his nose and upper lip.

"_rorrim_" She chants, and a small handheld mirror appears in her hand. She gives it to Robin, "So, what do you think?"

He frowns, "You call this a mustache? This is pathetic. I could grow a better one myself."

She rolls her eyes, "Says the guy who hasn't hit puberty yet."

"Ha Ha Ha, very funny." He laughs dryly. "You know what else is funny? The size of this mustache."

"Hey, keep criticizing my magic, and you'll get a tail too."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"Okay then, sorry. I just mean I was expecting something a little more, flamboyant, a big handlebar mustache or something. This thing is puny."

She smirks, "Well then, you want flamboyant, I'll give you flamboyant. _Ekam ehcatsum reggib." _The mustache grows thicker, and the ends start to curl.

"Now we're talking. Make it bushier." He holds the mirror in front of him, staring attentively at his reflection, deciding what needs to be done to create the perfect mustache.

"_rieshub_"

"Curl the ends more."

"Robin, you look stupid." She laughs.

"Just do it."

"All right, _reilruc dsne_."

"Now make it bigger."

"_reggib._"

"Now longer."

"_regnol_."

"Even longer."

"_regnol_."

"Uh... what exactly are you kids doing?" Green Arrow asks confused. He and Artemis just arrived, and neither knew what was going on, except that Robin wanted something bigger and longer.

"Giving Robin a makeover." Zatanna responds.

"A makeover?" Artemis asks.

"Yeah, wanna see?" Robin turns around to show them his mustache, which now looks completely artificial. It extends far off his face, below his bottom lip, and has ends so large and curled he could easily stick his fist through the loop. They both find it impossible to contain their laughter.

"Robin, you look ridiculous!" Green Arrow guffaws.

"Really, I think it looks pretty good." He says, stroking his mustache playfully.

"What are you trying to do? Grow a mustache to rival GA's in outlandishness?" Artemis teases

"My mustache isn't outlandish, is it?" He ponders.

"Yeah, we'll talk about your fashion choices after the mission." She quips, "We just wanted to let you to know we're here. Robin, get rid of that thing on your face, and then meet us in the main room for the briefing." They turn and leave, still chuckling about the mustache.

"I guess this does have to go." Robin points at his mustache.

"It needed to go a looong time ago Robin."

He sighs, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."

"_evomer ehcatsum_." She says, hoping it would make it go away, but nothing happens. "Sorry, let me try this again _evomer ehcatsum. evomer ehcatsum, evomer ehcatsum_, come on _evomer ehcatsum_."

"Everything alright?" Robin asks, somewhat concerned.

"Yeah, it's fine. I got this. Uh… _egnahc kcab, evash ffo ehcatsum, ekam s'nibor ecaf lamron, teg taht diputs nworgrevo shub ffo fo s'nibor ecaf." _She sighs, frustrated that no matter what combination of spells she tries, the mustache won't disappear. "I can't get this stupid mustache to go away. I'm so sorry Robin. I shouldn't have tried using magic on you, I knew I would mess up."

"It's ok Zee, I like it, honestly." He smiles widely, though it's hard to see with the mustache blocking it.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"Okay, maybe I am, but really, it's not the end of the world. I'll just shave it off later. Now come on, we've already waited long enough for the mission brief."

"Yeah, just let me try one more thing."

"Zatanna it'll be OK, I-"

"_evig em ehcatsum_" She chants, and a mustache identical to Robins appears on her face.

"Um... what are you doing?" He asks.

"I figured if you're going to have a dumb mustache, it's only fair I have a dumb mustache right along with you. It is kind of my fault you have it in the first place."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I know, but I wanted to."

"Really?" He questions, not believing her.

"No, but it's too late now. Come on, let's go before they start without us."

"Okay, _mustache buddy_." He says playfully, and they head out together for the briefing.

Translation of Zatanna's spells.

_Simetra teg ereh renoos - _Artemis get here sooner

_ekam riah knip_ – make hair pink

_ekam sworbeye eno, ekam niks eulb, ekam slian gnol, dna ekam spil kciht _– make eyebrows one, make skin blue, make nails long, and make lips thick

_Egnahc kcab_ – change back

_evig nibor ehcatsum _- give Robin mustache

_rorrim_ – mirror

_Ekam ehcatsum reggib_ – make mustache bigger

_Reihsub_ – bushier

_Reilruc sdne_ – curlier ends

_Reggib_ – bigger

_Regnol_ - longer

_evomer ehcatsum _– remove mustache

_evash ffo ehcatsum_ – shave off mustache

_ekam s'nibor ecaf lamron_- make robin's face normal

_teg taht diputs nworgrevo shub ffo fo 'snibor ecaf _– get that stupid overgrown bush off of Robin's face

_evig em ehcatsum_- give me mustache


End file.
